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Fatherless on Father’s Day {a note to my dad}

Dear Dad, I once heard a set of parents say that they wanted their ceiling to be their children’s floor. If you’d heard that, too, you would have said it. You lived it. Though your body was broken for about as many years of my life as not, I think I’ll always remember you as you were when you were…
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How to Love a Man

Dear husband — it’s not just them whom you’ve trapped in wonder. They’ll make you cards and sing songs to which they’ve forgotten half the words and climb all over you first thing Sunday morning to wish you Happy Father’s Day, but I’m the one who sees what seven and nine and eleven year-old eyes are too young to catch. Father’s Day is my…
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What Do You Say to that Voice that Wants You to Quit?

How many times do you need to respond to something in one particular (toxic) way before you notice a pattern? With five kids, one of them still in diapers, my answer is usually “many.” But I’m pretty sure that before the five kids and before I had one in diapers the answer was still many. We are creatures of habit, and we can be long in the habit-making…
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It Takes Work to Rest

It’s a radiant four pm. The counters are wiped, slick. The sink is empty and dinner is simmering next to my teapot, also humming. The children are willingly lost in the woods out back and the babe still asleep. I can’t smell anyone’s afternoon sweat and there’s not a disparate sock in sight. The only smell in my house, aside from…
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